


Full circle

by pamymex3girl



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur's POV, Character Deaths, Gen, mostly canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 11:21:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19886767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pamymex3girl/pseuds/pamymex3girl
Summary: They end with nothing, just as they begin. They've come full circle, they've ended where they began.





	Full circle

**Author's Note:**

> I'm moving some (not all) of my works from fanfiction.net to AO3. 
> 
> This was a prompt on kink_me Merlin.  
> The prompt was: Arthur/Gwen/Merlin/Morgana (past)  
> Describe to me, in angsty detail, how the OT4 became three, then just Arthur and Merlin, and then just Arthur on his lonesome. 
> 
> Written in 2012 (Although I have read it again and edited and changed some. It's mostly the same though.) (Not sure I like this one, it never quite ended up like I wanted it to.)
> 
> Not beta read. (All mistakes are mine.)

He stands alone on a battlefield, surrounded by the bodies of his knights. 

Alone, just like he began; with nothing, just like in the beginning of their story. 

This was not how it was _supposed_ to go. 

\--

In the beginning, before they're even there, there's nothing. 

Nothing but their parents and their loves; their lies and their sacrifices, nothing but everything that shaped them later. That's how and where there story begins, that's the foundation of all that comes next. Their parents shaped everything; they created the situations and laws that would haunt them later. 

He realizes later, when it's all over, that they never stood a chance. 

Their parents made sure of that. 

\--

Then there is him, Arthur Pendragon, the only prince of Camelot. 

Him alone, running through the castle, playing ridiculous games, always alone. His father is always too busy and the noble's son's (the few there were) were not always around. So he spends those first few years alone, relying only on himself. That's how it's supposed to be, he's told, _he’s_ the prince, he doesn’t need friends, he needs to learn how to stand on his own.

That’s how the story starts, how the legends begins.

With the crown prince of Camelot, standing alone, crying.

\--

Then there’s Morgana, who suddenly and unexpected becomes a constant part of his life.

The two of them together, playing silly games, fighting each other, arguing and laughing, screaming and making up, together always, just like they should be. As brother and sister, though not really – not then, not for years, truth hidden in lies – joking and bickering. His father was still too busy until he was older and the noble’s son’s where still not always there, but it didn’t matter.

For he was no longer alone.

Morgana used to have nightmares then too, though not as often as in later years, and she told him, once, that someone, or something, would someday destroy them.

He didn’t believe her. Neither did she.

\--

Then suddenly there’s Gwen thought there’s never the _three_ of them.

Gwen comes when Morgana is deemed too old for her nursemaid and Uther decided she needs a female companion – a best friend – and he chose Gwen. He never knew why his father chose her above all others, why not a nobleman’s daughter? Why the daughter of a blacksmith? He never wondered about this as a child and later, when he did start questioning it, it was no longer important. Why should he care?

She was there for a great part of his childhood, he knows this, but he can’t remember her.

Can’t remember Gwen as anything but Morgana’s friend or maid; he can’t remember ever having talked to her, not that it really matters.

It was the three of them, together in one place – though not really.

The girls ran ahead, playing games, laughing and growing up.

They left him standing on his own.

\--

Then, after years of solitude, and – he admits now – the wrong friends, there is Merlin.

If someone had asked him – then and there where he met him – if they would ever be friends, he would have laughed. But later, later he cannot imagine ever having lived without him. He can’t imagine having lived without his best friend, without his constant companion, though it is something he would never admit.

It was Merlin who brought them all together, Merlin who somehow managed to make them _one._

He was the one who was friends with Gwen and somehow even with Morgana; he brought them together, without him _the four of them_ would never have been such close friends. (It is Merlin, he realizes later, who brought him his best knights as well, Merlin who wove them all together.) It was Merlin who first saved the child and made them all work together, it was his hometown they went to save.

He remembers standing there, the four of them together in defence of that small town, and thinking: _this is it._

This is how it is supposed to be, now and forever.

Him and Merlin and Morgana and Gwen.

The four of them together in defence of Camelot.

\--

Somewhere, somehow, he loses Morgana, just as she once predicted he would.

But he doesn’t know when or even how and he really – despite all that has happened – hasn’t figured out _why_ she slipped away either. He understands her anger towards his father, he does, but he can’t figure out, can’t point to the exact moment where that turned into hatred of _him._

They fall apart slowly and he never realized it happened until it’s far too late.

Later, much later, when the dust settles and he has time to think – after they manage to take back the castle – he thinks of the last few months and comes to the conclusion that the first thing that fell apart was the friendship between Merlin and Morgana. That was their downfall, for it was Merlin who brought the four of them together and it was the decline of that friendship that doomed them all.

\--

_‘I thought we were friends.’_

_‘As did I. But alas, we were both wrong.’_

\--

Then it is the three of them in defence of their kingdom.

It’s not how he imagined it, it’s not how it’s supposed to go, but it is how it is and he must accept it. The king, the queen and the menservant (the court sorcerer). The three of them always together. This is how it’s going to be, this is how they’ll go on forever, how they’ll be remembered.

And then, somehow, Gwen fades away into nothing.

And he can’t tell you when that happened either nor is he sure what that says about him. Perhaps it was the loss of Lancelot, her first love. Perhaps it was the dead of her dear brother that destroyed her, that destroyed them all, he doesn’t know.

One day she was his loving wife, the next there was nothing left.

Leaving him and Merlin, him and his friend, the king of Camelot and Emrys.

\--

But it’s not the same; for it is gone forever, that love, that friendship, that future that should have been.

They fight and battle, together they protect Camelot.

Until even Merlin faded away.

One day, out of nowhere, Merlin did not return and Arthur, Arthur knew that he never would.

He send out his knights, of course he did, but the all-powerful Emrys was just gone. The dragons too had disappeared and the lady of the Lake was silent. He asked Mordred, who’d grown quiet over the last few years, but he claimed not to know.

And so he was alone, sitting on his throne, with the whole of Camelot at his feet.

All that fighting for a common goal and nothing to show for it.

\--

In the end he’s alone, just as he began, standing on a battlefield.

Even his knights have left him now – strong Percival, loyal Gwaine and even the constant Leon lie dead around him. Only Mordred remained and somehow Arthur knew _that_ was not a good thing.

He knew it was over before Mordred raised his sword (somewhere across the field he can see Morgana laughing at him.)

\--

They end with nothing, just as they began.

No friendship, nor love; no Camelot and no acceptance. This is the end of the story; nothing, nobody will come after them.

They’ve finally come full circle, their story has come to an end.

But Arthur still does not know why it had to be this way.


End file.
